Today I am really pleased to share the Small Home Tour of Molly and Kate and their two kids in 500 square feet from Brooklyn, NYC. Molly and I initially talked about doing this home tour before it feels like the world turned upside down. I didn’t expect her to find the time to answer these questions with two kids at home and certainly not after I learned that her wife works in healthcare in NYC. Somehow she did and I am so grateful for her open heart and perspective. She even took the time to share her thoughts about living small and isolating at home while also working in Global Health.

A bit about yourself?

My wife, Kate, and I have been married for 5 years and together for 13. We have a 3 year old, an almost 1 year old and a 9 year old dog; Emi, Jane, and Lily. We both work in healthcare, my wife in emergency management and I in global health. Typically, this means we can split our time with the girls and spend almost equal time with them. Normally, Kate works early and I work late, so I get the girls ready in the morning and she does the nighttime routine. COVID19 has significantly changed this arrangement, as I know it has for everyone.

How big is your home and what is the layout?

We have lived in our garden apartment in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn for almost 5 years - it is a one bedroom, approx. 500 sqft with a private backyard. We have a separate entrance and a hallway which really helps with organizing seasonal items and housing our gigantic stroller. Once you walk into the actual apartment, you step right into the living room and the kitchen is essentially a hallway to our bedroom at the back. Our bedroom is actually quite large, which can be a bit awkward. The kids’ room, a small bonus/mud room, is off our room in the back. I’m including a layout if that’s helpful. Who lives there? Our family of 5 (dog included) all live here together.

Tell me about your choice to live small as a family. Was it a conscious decision or did it just evolve?

We moved to Brooklyn right out of college and living in a large space was never really an option. We both thought we’d have moved out of the city a long time ago, especially when we had kids. So, while I think our life has just evolved, we’ve also made the conscious decision to stay. We looked at so many houses in the suburbs that fit what we thought we wanted, and it just never worked. Even with the “perfect” space, something held us back. After lots of discussion we realized that it made more sense, particularly with work, to stay in the city where we can get around more easily. The COVID19 situation has proven this even more, with Kate having to go to work on off hours and for long periods of time: if we lived in the suburbs, it would have made her commute that much harder and longer and would have meant we would see her even less.

Is there a piece of furniture or accessory that you couldn’t live without that makes living in your space easier?

Kate and I both support Alton Brown’s hatred for “uni-taskers”- everything in our apartment can serve multiple purposes; the kitchen table is also the craft center, the bench at the bottom of our bed houses my yarn collection, the girls’ dresser is also the changing table. If I had to choose one multifunctional piece, it’d probably be our coffee table – the Crate & Barrel hunter trunk. We got it as a housewarming present and it currently serves as a linen closet, a dinner table, and a toy bin.

What is something you love about living small?

I love that I know where everything is, including each member of our family, and that everything has a place making the space feel curated. Until recently we couldn’t really afford to invest in our furniture and now that we can, I like that we have to find pieces that fit our space, instead of just buying what is most convenient. Also, I love that our space is constantly evolving, making sure it best fits our needs. It’s a nice refresh and also empowering to know nothing is not set in stone.

What is something you hate?

I wish we were able to access the backyard from our room instead of through the kids’ room. Fortunately, they go to sleep early but that also means we can’t go outside on those warm summer evenings. What are your best ways to beat the rainy Brooklyn winter blues and keep from going crazy with kids indoors? Having a dog means that we have to go out each day which helps our mental health and ability to cope with the weather, not just the winter as summer in NYC can be unbearable. Our backyard is also really helpful, particularly during the current quarantine situation – we can get some vitamin D, throw the ball for our dog Lily, and look at our plants and urban wildlife (a lot of snails and worms). We also have a DIY sensory table that can keep Emi entertained for quite a while!

One of the reasons I started this blog was to have a positive space about living small with a family and hopefully have people let go of the shame associated with it. Thank you so much for being so open with your beautiful home and life. Is there anything you would want to say to someone who wants to stay in their small space with a child/baby but are nervous or feeling external pressure not to? I would tell someone else that it will work for longer than you think. At each turn, I gave us 6 months – when we had Emi, and then Jane, I thought we’d only last 6 months. And then we kept finding more room and more interesting ways to make our space work. I reached out to you after a family battle with the stomach flu that made me appreciate our apartment that much more. I was able to keep an eye on everyone, hear the tiniest grunts of discomfort, while having my own space in a separate room. Also, I was able to bleach the whole place in a matter of hours! I’d say that sentiment continues into the current situation.

Thank you so much Molly for making the time to share your home with us especially under these challenging circumstances. Being in Brooklyn and working in healthcare I asked Molly how they were dealing with the realities of that and she kindly shared her perspective below…

My wife does not have patient contact, but she does have contact with the healthcare workers who provide patient care, leaving us in a grey area without super clear guidance. At the beginning of this, and before the stay at home order, I think we both just put our heads down and decided to push through it. We knew a huge wave of cases was going to come and we were going to stick it out. We thought that I’d be able to work from home and our nanny, who lives in the neighborhood, would be able to watch the girls so life could continue in a semi-normal way. Leaving the city to go to my dad’s house upstate would mean I’d have to watch the girls AND work at the same time, which felt unimaginable. Spoiler: that’s exactly what happened. So many of our friends, and our family, left the city. I didn’t want to leave, and Kate didn’t want us to leave, because we wouldn’t see her and the risks to our immediate family, at least, seemed low – kids weren’t known to be greatly affected and both of us are in good health. That has obviously changed now as young adults and people our age, in good health, have become very sick and there have, very tragically, been COVID caused child deaths.

Once we were fully in it, Kate called one day and asked what we would do if she were positive. It was weird that we’d never talked about it and SUPER stressful to think about. What would we do? Our space is tiny! We came up with a plan and we would rearrange the space once again – Kate would stay in the girls’ room and sleep in Emi’s bed. Emi would sleep with me and Jane would sleep in a travel crib. The bathroom situation wouldn’t be ideal, but we figured we would work it out. Fortunately, it hasn’t happened and we are both hoping it stays that way.

This whole experience has caused so many colossal shifts from a very macro level all the way down to the hyper-personal. I work in Global Health and am constantly wondering and worrying about our colleagues abroad, including in Liberia and Colombia where we have ongoing projects. Numbers of cases in each of those countries are significantly lower than what we are facing in NYC, but capacity and resources are much slimmer, particularly in Liberia. The country has a recent history with an epidemic- the Ebola Virus outbreak in 2013-2014 so the public is relatively familiar with case management, tracing, and quarantine. But there is no ICU in the country; there may be one anesthesiologist in the entire country of almost 5 million people. What will they do if this hits on a level similar to that in New York or even on a level much smaller?

I would say it’s a daily/hourly fluctuation of feeling good and feeling horrible. I don’t know other people who are having an exactly parallel experience to mine but simultaneously, everyone is having a parallel experience. How can I reconcile feeling so unique in my emotions and reactions while the entire world, literally, is going through the same thing? Also, it is odd to be at the epicenter of this pandemic, and definitely feel its effects, but also be able to bury my head in the sand a bit by having to take care of two small children who don’t know what’s happening and would prefer to watch Peppa Pig over the news.

Many people I’ve talked to have said, "when I start feeling down I try to think about how lucky I am”. I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work; I wind up worrying even more about those people who don't have the privileges I have. Those people who are already living with less stability, less money, worse healthcare are at even greater risk during this pandemic. I’m fortunate that I have a roof over my head, food in my fridge, and the resources to keep both of those. What are we going to do for those who can't? How can I help and support those efforts? I’m not an eternal optimist, but I am typically a relatively positive person. I’ve had a hard time being positive now. I'm taking it day by day, doing the best I can.

Can't thank you enough for opening your home and heart to us, Molly. And wish you, Kate and your beautiful family health, safety and some peace during this pandemic. You are doing a wonderful job.

Small Home Tours: Molly and Family of 4 in 500sqft in Brooklyn during COVID